As many of you know, I am pretty passionate about issues plaguing many developing nations, such as poverty, access to resources, and properly planned and implemented health care. One of the most persistent issues is World Hunger. This of course goes hand in hand with other impacting factors like poverty. There’s been endless efforts (especially by us, the West) to address this issue. According to a book I am reading, The White Man’s Burden, everyday Joes (for the caucasian readers) and Chans (for all the asian readers) like me and you have given so much money (approximately $1 trillion), and yet nothing has happened. Celebrities give their voices, governments give their troops and we give our dollars…but so far, nothing! So what is the answer to world hunger?
Mike and I are unbelievably intelligent specimens of the human race. So unbelievably intelligent that many people do not believe. (But wasn’t that implied by the adjective?) ANYWAYS, the point is we have found the answer to world hunger… is it some new scientific discovery? A little red pill that does away with malnutrition? A new genetic strain of plant that sprouts roast beef dinners every 5 minutes?
No, No, No, No, No. (just wanted to play around with the sizing thing)
The answer is:
A CINNZEO CINNAMON BUN
You may think we are crazy, but give us a chance here. Does anyone eat these things anymore? No, and the reason is that here in the Western world, we eat proper meals and thus taking a single bite or even catching the heavy aroma of one of these behemoths would cause our gastrointestinal system to explode with supernova intensity. But give a developing nation one of these suckers… and instantly you solve one of the world’s most pressing questions.
For those that haven’t been out of the house in the last 15 years, let me describe to you what a Cinnzeo cinnamon bun is like. These “buns” are about 3-4 inches in diameter, have a buttery, succulent bread consistency that rolls around sticky, gooey brown sugar and cinnamon. Apparently the cinnamon is some high quality shizzat from Vietnam, but who can really taste it through the gallons of warm, sweet cream cheese frosting they spill onto the bun? Just look at the picture! It’s an entity. Some items of comparable weight are: elephants, the Eiffel Tower, and Jay Leno’s chin. I firmly believe that Cinnzeo’s are such a dense mass that they actually exude a noticeable force of gravity and pull smaller objects (such as vans or boats) towards them.
Eating an entire Cinnzeo by yourself in one sitting should be considered a crime towards humanity. I firmly believe it is utterly impossible and should be illegal. But can you see the potential for good?
To be honest, I had a chance to have some Cinnzeo a while ago as we took advantage of some coupons (yes I know, how ‘chinese’ of us). And they are just so decadent, it is unbelievable (just like our intelligence).
I’ve said all I have to say about Cinnzeo cinnamon buns but you have to check out Jim Gaffigan’s remarks on them. He is absolutely hilarious and does a ton of food related humor!